The days when you don't feel like getting out of bed. The days you'd rather spend all alone. Why would you spend them alone? Because you need time. Time to think. Time to understand what the hell is going on with you. Sometimes, your feelings might overwhelm you and you might hesitate to feel them but don't. Don't ever hesitate to feel them, don't be afraid to be sad.
As I was in my car, looking out of the window, my thoughts just pulled me into this hole. Into this hole of loneliness and heartbreak. The words of the song I was listening only sparked memories in my head. Memories that are hard to forget. Why do I keep thinking about you so much? Anyway, it wasn't just you, today felt like it was one of those days where I just didn't have any purpose. I felt like a zombie fulfilling my obligations and faking a smile every time someone talked to me. My inner voice was a bitch, criticising every move I made. I didn't even have words to describe what I was feeling. All I knew was that I wanted to escape. Escape time and travel to some other moment. A better moment. The stress, the sadness, the critical voice in my head, the loneliness, I wanted to escape it all but no matter how hard I tried to run away from these feelings. They grabbed me with their claws and I just sunk further into the hole. The hole that is created by me and only I can get myself out of it. When I am in this hole, when I finally accept that something is not right in my life, I am able to reflect. My blurry vision and pessimistic view fades and I am able to see the strong, confident and beautiful person that I am.
This is why I write. I write and I scribble till all my feelings are expressed.
As I was in my car, looking out of the window, my thoughts just pulled me into this hole. Into this hole of loneliness and heartbreak. The words of the song I was listening only sparked memories in my head. Memories that are hard to forget. Why do I keep thinking about you so much? Anyway, it wasn't just you, today felt like it was one of those days where I just didn't have any purpose. I felt like a zombie fulfilling my obligations and faking a smile every time someone talked to me. My inner voice was a bitch, criticising every move I made. I didn't even have words to describe what I was feeling. All I knew was that I wanted to escape. Escape time and travel to some other moment. A better moment. The stress, the sadness, the critical voice in my head, the loneliness, I wanted to escape it all but no matter how hard I tried to run away from these feelings. They grabbed me with their claws and I just sunk further into the hole. The hole that is created by me and only I can get myself out of it. When I am in this hole, when I finally accept that something is not right in my life, I am able to reflect. My blurry vision and pessimistic view fades and I am able to see the strong, confident and beautiful person that I am.
This is why I write. I write and I scribble till all my feelings are expressed.
