Final goodbye

Why do I feel like history is waiting to repeat itself? This time though without any reason. 

I feel like I scare you with my strong, raw and real emotions that I bleed. 

When I lock my eyes to yours and say I love you subtly, of course.

I hold you close and tight, scared that I might lose you. 

At times like these, I feel that you’ve had enough of it. 

That your love is sporadic instead of a constant flow. 

That it ends as soon as it beginnings. 

That you shut me out as hard as you pull me towards you. 

You distance yourself 

Maybe I’m overthinking but it’s so not like you

To be so distant and have conversations so few

That night I heard you say the same thing,

I believed it, I wanted to and then you broke my heart

3 weeks later, I hear you again as those words escaped your mouth,

It’s been days and we haven’t talked,

Every intimate moment we share brings me closer to you

and crazier in love

But drives you farther apart. 

I don’t want to seem invasive,

Since you don’t want to talk,

I feel stupid for wanting to,

So I just read our conversations.

Ever since I noticed you were distancing, 

I was constantly deciding whether I should text you or not. 

Wondering if you even wanted to talk.

So finally, I text you with a simple- “hey”

And grab my phone with excitement as you reply back. 

We talk for a few minutes while I fight the urge to tell you how much I miss you. 

You don’t either 

As I begin to feel better,

you end the conversation by saying that you’re too busy to talk.

Been that way since the past 3 days,

I play it cool and hide my emotions well,

Don’t reply to your last message 

because it was goodbye